It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
