One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
40s are totally the cure
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
