just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
