i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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