The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
