it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
