no, he came in my armpit
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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