The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize