Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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