i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
