Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
