I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
even my farts smell like vagina
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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