he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
