whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
