Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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