Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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