im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You were trust falling into bushes
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
