Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Randomize
