Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize