Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
