I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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