Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
