some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize