she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
