We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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