so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
