I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize