Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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