Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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