My room smells like vodka and shame
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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