I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
