I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
