Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
