He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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