Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I need to sanitize my soul.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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