i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize