Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
