I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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