Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
