the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
