I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
