two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
