Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
