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U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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