found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
