shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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