she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
