He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
