Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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