I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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