Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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