Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
