True but thats because hes a fetus.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
