So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
