my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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