I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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