Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
