She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
