I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize