Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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