You smell like a Billy Joel song
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
