dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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