We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
