dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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