every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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