Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
