the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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