based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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