Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
not ubering you a puppy
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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