Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
