i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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