hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
