I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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