Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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