You're earring is so big in my mouth
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
