Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
