..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
